Not sure if it's the time of year, kids growing older, my growing older -- or just plain life. But the anxieties of parenting are getting to me again.
Today, Garrett decided he was NOT going to church and he was NOT going to fast. Needless to say it was ugly getting us ready for church. I always wonder what the right thing to do/say is. I can't take away their agency, but I am the parent. (and the other parent was at the usual meetings)
Oh, these challenges, and so many more, face us daily. I want my children to have the same happiness I have found in the gospel, yet they are free to choose. This is such a struggle for me.
My Mom is a wonderful person and even though she makes mistakes with the best of us, she seems to have perfected a skill I hope to acquire....one day. She has children, as we all do, who have made some choices she disagrees with. YET, she is truly very close friends with all of us. She has the ability to counsel us while make us feel loved and understood even if she may not love or understand the choices we are making. I admire this quality and hope I can gain it.
When our children decide they want to do something different from what we want for them or believe they should do --- I hope I will always show my unconditional love and friendship for them yet have the ability to counsel them as I should.
What a balancing act parenting is!? I may not need to change diapers, or get a babysitter for them anymore, but we are for sure heading into another era.....the ability to choose and be responsible for the choice.
I hope to follow the Prophet Lehi and how he explained agency to his son Jacob: “Wherefore, men are free … to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil” (2 Nephi 2:27). However, we must understand that while we are free to choose, we are not free to choose the consequences of our choices.
Did we teach them all they need to know? OH I HOPE SO!!
8 comments:
Do your best, the Lord will take care of the rest. We're with ya Megan....well i dont have kids but i will someday, so when that day comes I hope you'll be there to offer advice because I think you're an absolute wonderful mom!
-DeBOHrah :)
My parents have that gift too, and I find myself in that same quandary of how to teach my children to choose the right in a way that helps them develop the desire to do it, not just because I say so. You are a thoughtful, great parent and I'm sure you are doing well in that area.
Shana
Your kids are growing up. That means having a mind of their own and sometimes not making the right choices. We've all been there, if not, we soon will be. It's so important to allow them to have free choice. I'm certainly not perfect and don't plan on writing a book about successful parenting, but I think there are three key elements: 1. Unconditional love of our children, not necessarily their actions, but as people who need love and acceptance. 2. Accept the Lord's time frame and means for their development and spiritual growth. 3. Set the very best example that you can for each child all the time. Remember most of us learn from our mistakes at least as well as we do from a lecture. Also, I think it is important to realize that each one of our children is different and we should not anticipate a mirror image of our phantasized "ideal" child. It would really not be good if the only response our children gave us was: "Yes, Mom, or Yes, Dad. They need to think and decide, just as we adults do.
You're a great Mom and I have no doubt, that your family will turn out great in the Lord's due time.
Our faith just has to be tested.
Oh! I understand. It's hard when they start stretching their wings. I had a conversation like that with a teenager a while ago. I simply told him that we go to church as a family and as part of our family, he would go to church with us. After that, we didn't have any problems. I know I'm lucky, no, blessed, that it was that easy to get over. But, we teach them what we know, then put our trust in the Spirit to guide them. You're doing a fabulous job!
Remember I don't read it if its so long.:)
Keep on Keeping on.
Hope to see you all soon maybe for confrence again?
I know Stephen -- I think of you when I ramble on -- sorry.:)
I love your rambles:) Maybe if you take time at FHE or anytime and go over family rules/standards/whatever you want to call them and let the kids have open input. Try to get church attendance be their idea?? I don't know but it might work. Maybe spend some time on the blessings of meeting together with like minded people, feeling spirit, etc. before you try above. Just brainstorming...I ramble too:)
PS - I developed that quality as answer to MANY prayers!! It is a very literal gift from the Lord.
Post a Comment