Letting me in their minds

Sometimes at the end of a long day I am so sick of my own voice I could just die. Seriously, you all know I talk a lot. Let me tell you why. My Mother...she's the culprit!! When I was younger and things weren't as hunky dory as I'd love them to be I used to curl up in a ball...in bed, in the van, where ever a small little girl could curl up and worry. I used to get stomach pains really bad during these curled episodes but I'd never talk about what was worrying me. After many hours of loving me and talking to me my Mom finally convinced me to TALK about it. Oh the monster she has created! Some days I curse my Mom for teaching me to talk -- but most days I am full of gratitude. What a blessing to be able to communicate with others how I am feeling --sometimes to simply enjoy life and my relationships and sometimes to create better relationships.

On to the next generation. I've been so appreciative of Garrett's ability to communicate with me how he is feeling. For example, I have read that children with aspergers have a hard time with empathy but when I read that it doesn't confirm that Garrett struggles with it. So this summer after another brotherly fight...Garrett came to me afterward crying. He said "Mom, I know you say I should feel bad when I hit Gavin....but I don't. I don't know how to feel bad." Ah.. confirms it...he is struggling with empathy...now I know what to work on with him. What a blessing that he's able to TALK to me and voice what he's feeling. I've also read that A.S. kids struggle to understand something as common as waiting for the next available teller at the bank. They don't notice what others are doing ... like standing in the line and waiting at the sign. I have always had this in the back of my mind but have never experienced the NT (neurotypical) child being socially observant.

The other day Libbie and I were at the Nauvoo Cafe in SLC. I hadn't been there before and I wasn't quite sure how it all worked. As soon as we walked in I was looking for signs "Please wait to be seated, line starts here, etc" There were no signs that I saw so we did the socially acceptable thing and followed the crowd through the buffet line. When we were done with our food I was still wondering if they cleared your table or you cleared it yourself. When I voiced this concern Libbie said "Mom...just watch what other people are doing then you'll know what to do" WOW --- a NT response! May sound funny to the rest of the world...but for those on our AS planet..you know what I mean. I was so glad to have Libbie TALK to me about how she was thinking. I was able to get an insight into how she learns her social cues and how to teach Garrett.

I'm not so good at drawing conclusions to my thoughts, but I have had these thoughts on my mind lately so I thought I'd write them down for my Cherish Today Vol III that will be printed at the end of 2010.

I am grateful for a Mom who taught me to communicate and for kids who naturally communicate because their Mom has taught them through a sometime very annoying example.:)